Self destruction

I'm not single... I'm attached... But I don't feel like as if i'm in a relationship... Damn!!! 2 diff lifestyles... No matter how much I try to put our lives together... I don't see it wrking out... Christmas is nearing.. I know... N I'm trying to keep myself in d mood by going to town almost everynight n listening to Christmas songs... But seriously I just don't feel it... Damn lonely if that's I'm gonna day... WTF right... Haiz... If u're single n u feel lonely maybe I can understd... But I'm fucking attached... I wrk till 10 n by d time I'm home he'll b at wrk n those days I get to be with him will be like only for like an hour or lesser... WTF!!! I so used to sticking with u... Like u're my addiction right!!! Shiaat!!! I used to be damn independent u know.. Now??? I dono whr everything went... D strong n bold gal??? What happened??? I juz need to get myself up again!!! If not it's gonna b self destruction..!!! 

how nice???? at the starting of the mth i post smth n at the end i post smth... lolx..
well oct wasn't that bad after all.. i mean besides spending loads coz of d wedding n all n running away frm cisco... HAHAHA.. d rest was fine..

well love life currently at this very second sux okay... i'm like thinking twice alrdy if i need this or shld i juz shut d fuck up n be single... i mean i really want freedom n i hate ppl controling me.. come on... i have my life to live n seriously don't live for others lor... i'm like only 20 this YR n turning 21 nxt yr... i have so many things to enjoy.. do u believe if i say i havent clubbed till today??? FUCK!!!! its not wrong to explore n hello i have my own principals n i know what is wrong or right... i've tried drinking n i didnt like it, i've tried smoking n i think it stinks.. so what d hell... i have my own likes n dislikes... FFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK...

I juz wonder y indian men love controlling their wives.. come on... d more u control d more we rebel.. n me at this age sure is to rebel.. tadz for sure... coz i m seriously not afarid of any1 in these world n its not necessary for me to love any1 too... SSSHHHiiiiTTTTTT...

SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME WONDER IF I HAVE MADE D RIGHT CHOICE... i have made many bad n good choices... so which section is this under??? hmmmmmmmm... everything seemed so good... HAIZZZ... JUST WHAT SHLD I DO NOW?????

I HATE CISCO TO THE CORE

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........
I FUCKING HATE CISCO OKAY... I AM CONFIRM TENDERING ON THE 11TH OF OCT 2010 AND LEAVING THIS STUPID ORGANIZATION... JUZ COZ UR STUPID MANAGEMENT SIDE GOT COMMUNICATION BREAK DOWN U GUYS R PUNISHING ME...... PAY HOLD BACK... EVER FELT THAT... THAT FEELING SUCKS OKAY...

LETS START FRM THE BEGINNING.... I DIDNT GO TO WRK FOR 4 DAYS... AND I DID FUCKING INFORM MY SHIFT SUPERVISOR N SHE FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGED IT WHICH MEANS I DIDNT RUN AWAY FRM CISCO AND I STILL CAME BACK TO SEE MY OM.. .HELLO IDIOTS USE UR BRAINS... IF I WANTED TO RUN AWAY I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT LONG TIME AGO N COME BK TO SEE THE OM... ANYWAY THAN WHEN I CAME BACK THEY TOLD ME MY PAY IS ONHOLD CAUSE I AINT AT WRK... I SAID OKAY AND MY OM PROMISED ME THAT I WILL RECIEVE MY PAY ON 5TH OCT 2010 COZ HE WANNA SEE MY ATTENDANCE... FARK... FINE... I SAID OKAY.. ON THE 5TH NTH WENT IN SO I CALLED MY OM IN HIS HP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE HE WAS SLPING AT 12.10am... I DONT CARE... ITS MY FUCKING MONEY OKAY... THAN I TOLD HIM HE SAID THAT HR IS CLOSED AT THIS TIMING N EVEN IF HE WANNA HELP ME HE CANNOT DO ANYTHING... HE SAID HE WILL HELP ME OUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND I SAID OKAY... WHEN I CALLED HR THEY TOLD ME MY PAY WILL BE IN ON THE 7TH OF OCT 2010 AFTER 6PM... SO I WENT TO CHK YTD... FUCKING SHIT IT DID NOT GO IN AND I HAD TO SUBMIT MY LEAVE FORM ANYWAY.. SO I WENT TO SEE MY OM...

DAMN ANGRY LA OKAY... THAN HE TOLD ME THERE WAS A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING SO NOW THEY GONNA RELEASE MY PAY ON THE 10TH OF OCT...TOGETHER WITH MY OTHER AS A SUM... SHIT... BRO'S WEDDING IS ON THE 10TH AND I HAVE GET THINGS DONE BUY STUFF AND ALL... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THIS PPL TALKING ABT... HAIZ... ANGRY...

WHAT WAS D MISUNDERSTANDING...

MY DUMB DYOM YAN UPDATED MY STATUS AS TERMINATED WITHOUT LETTING MY OM KNOW AND SENT AN EMAIL TO THE HQ.. FOR CONFIRMATION THE REPLY CAME BK TO MY OM ARU AND HE CANCELLED MY TERMINATION COZ THERE IS NO ACTUAL REASON FOR TERMINATION.. AND BY THE TIME THEY WANNA RELEASE MY PAY N ALL EVERYTHING GOT DELAYED.. I DONO WHATS THIS YAN'S PROB ANYWAY.. N YEA MY VOUCHERS.. HE KEPT N SAID IT WASNT WITH HIM... AFT AFEW DAYS WHEN I ASKED HIM HE SAID IT WAS WITH MY SHIFT SUP JOHTHI.. SO I MSGED HER TO CHK WITH HER SHE SAID NO HE HAVENT GIVE HER N I KNOW SHE DOESNT LIE REGARDING THIS KINDA MATTERS.. SO WHEN I REACHED OFFICE.. HE WAS LEAVING HOME N WHEN I ASKED HIM WHR WAS IT HE STILL GOT THE CHEEKS TO SAY ITS WITH JOHTHI I TOLD HIM THAT SHE DOESNT HAVE IT COZ I RDY CHKED WITH HER.. ON THE SPOT HE SAID '' OHH YEA I FORGT ITS WITH ME '' HOW CAN ONE RMB SMTH ON THE SPOT.. PLAYIN GAMES AH.. SHIT DOG... I REALLY HATE HIM...

I REALLY FEEL LIKE STABBING THEM STRAIGHT IN THEIR BALLS... I MEAN COME ON... IF I HAD NTH ON AND U ASKED ME TO WAIT TADZ DIFF.. BUT U'RE ASKING ME TO WAIT WHEN I HAVE MY BRO'S WEDDING... DO THIS BASTARDS UNDERSTD HOW DIFFICULT IT IS... I DONT THINK THEY DO... I REALLY HOPE THEY GO THRU THE SAME ONE DAY... COZ I BELIEVE IN KARMA.. WHAT GOES ARD WILL CERTAINLY COME ARD... N IT WILL BE BIGGER COZ KARMA IS CERTAINLY GONNA BITE THEM IN THEIR ASS... LET'S SEE WHEN THEIR KIDS GET MARRIED.. N THEIR PAY GETS HOLD HOW THEY FEEL... BITCH...

NOW I HAVE NO OTHER BLOODY CHOICE THAT I HAVE TO PAWN MY LIL BABY... ITS D ONLY THING THATS ALWAYS WITH ME N VERY CLS TO MY HEART N NOW THAT I HAVE TO PAWN MY HP FOR 3 DAYS IS LIKE FEELING NAKED... HAIZ... ITS FUCKING HEARTBREAKING... I FEEL LIKE IM TREATING MY PHONE LIKE A SLUT... SHIT... IVE GOT NO OTHER CHOICE BABY... I LOVE U MUCH MUCH BUT I REALLY GOT NO OTHER CHOICE... HAIZ... SERIOUSLY DAMN HEART BREAKING... WHN I WENT TO CHK OUT D PRICE OF MY PHONE TO SELL IT RDY I STARTED CRYING N I JUZ WALKED OFF... NVM I'LL JUZ THINK THAT MY BABY IS SICK N IM GONNA SENT HER TO THE HOSP N SHE'LL BE BK MAYBE SUNDAY MORNING OR MONDAY MORNING... I THINK I OBVIOUSLY CANT BE HAPPY WITHOUT HER... SO I'LL TAKE HER OUT ON SUNDAY MORNING BEFORE I GO FOR THE MAKE UP THINGY... HAAIIIIIZZZZ...

NVM LA.. I AM ONLY DOING IT FOR MY BIG BABY =D HE ALSO POOR THING... ITS NOT HIS FAULT TOO... I ALSO PROMISED HIM THAT I'LL GET HIM CLOTHES TO WEAR N ALL BUT I COULDN'T... I DONT WANNA GIF HIM AN EMPTY PROMISE.. SO I'LL JUZ DO IT..

hard

Yeah Yeah Yeah


Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Oh Yeah

Oh Yeah

Oh Yeah

Oh Yeah

Oh Yeah



They can say whatever

I’ma do whatever

No pain is forever Yup!

You know this

Tougher than a lion

Ain’t no need in tryin

I live where the sky ends Yup!

You know this



Never lying

Truth teller

That Rihanna reign just won’t let up

All black on

Black top shades

Black top maybach

I’ma rock this sh*t

Like fashion

As in goin to this Gang stop

And my runway never looked so clear

But the hottest bit** in heels right here

No fear

And while you’re gettin your cry on

I’m gettin my fly on

Sincere

I see you aiming at my pedestal

I better let you know



That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard



All up on it

Know u wanna clone it

Rihanna Hard lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/rihanna-hard-lyrics.html

Aint like me (that chick to flaunt it)

Ride this beat beat beat (like a pony)

Meet me at the top (top) top

(Getting loaded)

Who think they test me now?

Run through this town I shut it down

Brilliant resilient fanmail from 27 million



And I want it all

Gonna take more than that

Hope that I know you got



I need it all

The money the fame the cars the clothes

I can’t just let you run up on me like that (all up on me like that) yeah



I see you aiming on my pedestal

So I think I gotta let u know



That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard



[YOUNG JEEZY]

???



Where them girls talkin trash at? x2 Where they at? x3

Where them bloggers at? x2 Where they at? x3

Where your lighters at? x2 Where they at? x3



So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard





That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

That I, I, I, I'm so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm so hard

So hard, So hard, so hard

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (That rihanna range just wont let up)

So hard, so hard, so hard